“I had no choice.”
The
woman across from me was stoic, but the sadness in her eyes was as apparent to
me as my own greying hair is every morning. I tried to imagine going through
the things that she had spent the last forty-five minutes telling me about:
growing up in foster homes after her mom’s death from a drug overdose when she
was three and her father spending a life sentence in prison for shaking and
killing her infant sister; getting pregnant by a man whom she thought was the
love of her life until he hit her the first time, and escaping one abusive
relationship only to end up marrying a man who was even more abusive.
The
man Codi married locked her and her three year old daughter in the bedroom and
wouldn’t let them out for nearly four days. When they were finally allowed to
leave the room they’d been forced to sleep and use the bathroom in, she grabbed
her daughter and fled the house to a nearby shelter.
While
on the road and fleeing the state to another shelter, Codi discovered she was
pregnant again.
He
hadn’t allowed her to work, and he wouldn’t pay for birth control pills. None
of that came as a surprise to me. At the domestic violence shelter where I
work, I’ve often heard stories similar--it’s a means of controlling a victim
through her own body, making it that much more difficult for her to get away
from the abuse.
“I
had an abortion,” Codi told me, folding her hands together and staring down at
the table. “I had no choice.”
No
choice because her husband hadn’t allowed her one, and she had no money to pay
for birth control pills. Even if she had, there’s a good chance her abuser
would have found a way to sabotage her taking them if he’d known about it.
Which
is why the Department of Health and Human Services’ decision to issue new
guidelines that will require insurance companies in the United States to give
birth control to women without charging a co-pay is such a positive thing for
women. Women need and deserve to have free, easy access to birth control. And
we need to have it for a multitude of reasons, most of which many people never
even stop to consider.
Nevermind
the unfairness and inequality of these same insurance companies having provided
male enhancement drugs such as Viagra without charging a co-pay for years.
Nevermind that this will also decrease the need for abortion and yet many of
the same people who are anti-abortion are also against this new provision.
If
I never have to listen to another woman tell me a heartbreaking story about a
choice she was forced to make to keep herself, or other children she already
has alive, it’ll be too soon.
“I
had no choice.”
Now
starting August 1, 2012, women like Codi will have more choices.
(Note:
Client’s name and identifying details have been changed to protect the victim’s
confidentiality.)
About the author: Angela Williams is a thirty-one year old domestic violence
administrative specialist in the United States. She's worked at a shelter for
over seven years.
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